Attitude. It’s a common word. I love its mystique. It should be an all-the-time thing, but people who think they have a good one often slip at the first hint of trouble. The others, who maintain a good one with regularity, are likely getting help from attitude’s brethren of the faith variety. All will always turn out well.

Attitude is also similar in nature to self-esteem. Someone can’t give it to you. You have to build it on your own. It’s lonely and self-taught.

How can you teach yourself to develop a winning attitude?

How you think and what you think about…

Focus on your passions. Give yourself a leg up by focusing on the things you love. It’s much easier to develop a great attitude when you’re doing something you love. Not sure what you’re passionate about? Check out How to Determine Your Purpose in Life in Fewer Than 600 Words.

Think positively. This might be easier for me to type than for you to do. Start small. Repeat. Think back on your life. Have you, for the most part, been successful? If so, why would you allow the thought of some fictitious improbable future prevent you from thinking positively at this moment? It’s actually more likely that all will turn out well. Try it. It works.

Slow down the speed of your emotions. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, take a deep breath. You need to practice becoming mindful of your racing thoughts because your automatic thinking and behaviors have unfortunately become automatic.

The environment you build for yourself…

Set goals high and monitor progress instead of specific results. Being realistic never changed anything. Being “unrealistic” does. Set goals for yourself that are higher than you can imagine. This might sound contrary to breeding positivity and it will be if all you focus on are the outcomes of your attempts. Enjoy the journey along the way and pay attention to what you’re accomplishing as opposed to the target goal you set for yourself. It’s the one time I suggest you look back in proportion to looking forward. Get into process and out of outcome. Read Out of Reach But in Sight: Using Goals to Achieve Your Impossible.

Make sure you can commit. Setting high goals is ridiculous if you can’t commit to working toward and achieving them. This exercise also involves determining the things in your life you will need to sacrifice to achieve what you want.

Behavior plays a key part…

Don’t ever give up—being true to yourself. Let’s get something straight. Winners quit. They quit the right things at the right times. They also choose the right things to start and focus only on those things. That’s why you wouldn’t consider thinking of them as quitters. If you’ve entangled yourself in something that isn’t your passion, be true to yourself and find something else that is. It’s your life. You’re only lying to yourself if you continue doing something you don’t want to.

Make no excuses. You are a victim of your own vibration. You are accountable for everything you do and everything that happens to you. Accept it. Own it. If you ignored the other thirteen items in this post, this one alone will carry you to the right place.

Relationships make the world go ‘round…

Surround yourself with the right people. You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Do the math. Relationships are meant to empower you and should never victimize you. If any relationship isn’t helping you become who you want to be, walk away. Speaking of…

Avoid the wrong people. I call this addition by subtraction. It’s different than surrounding yourself with the right people and a little more painful.

A healthy mindset gives you stylish rose-colored glasses…

Be grateful. It’s impossible to have a bad attitude when you have gratitude. Be grateful for everything you have because there are people who will never have what you have today.

Believe. Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right. Whether you think you will or won’t, you’re right. I’ve never met a person I didn’t believe in and I know more people than anyone I know. If I believe in you, you should too.

Have faith. Pair faith with belief and all will turn out well. I pinky swear.

Plan, do, learn, fix, and repeat…

Prepare for the best, worst, and everything in between. You’ll sleep better at night knowing you have all contingencies covered.

Learn. Your life will never get easier, but I assure you, you will get wiser. You might as well enjoy the getting wiser part.

As always, I’d love to hear from you: What are your techniques to building a winning attitude?

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