I’ve managed thousands of people in my lifetime. Not all of once of course. I mean over the years as a corporate leader and consultant among my other monikers.

There are many more [millions maybe?] I’ve positively influenced through my online training and coaching programs and live shows on the Internet-z.

Today’ I’d like to give you 7 of my favorite techniques I used to help people grow.

You can use these to mentor and motivate your staff.

You can also use this information to better understand how someone can more effectively coach you!

If you like the following lesson, you can get many more lessons like this in my Leadership Coaching Program.

Let’s get into the pointers of how you can coach, mentor, and develop someone.

I promised you 7 and here they are…

1. Determine the person’s current stage of development. The first key to success in helping someone develop is knowing where there are now. Imagine you standing in front of the map at the amusement park. That’s right. It’s possible to get lost in the maze and progress is not a straight line. Someone is a beginner, intermediate, expert, or master. Don’t assume they’re behind or ahead of where they are. Start in the right place.

2. Identify their developmental “love” language (AKA their feedback language). Ever heard of the 5 love languages? When it comes to responding to your direction, each person will have their own feedback language, so to speak. Some need a pat on the back while others need a kick in the butt. If you want to motivate them, you need to speak their language. That is, spending a lot of time giving a script to someone who needs to learn by watching you do it, isn’t gonna get you the love.

3. Empathy is your not-so-secret sauce. Empathy is especially important when helping, teaching, and motivating people. Let’s assume (naturally) you are the more experienced one. As we become seasoned in our trades, we tend to forget what it’s like not to know what we know. Plus, our environments were different than theirs. In some cases, this enhances their ability to learn. In other cases, it might detract. For example, you can Google anything. Information is immediately available. (Not when I started work.) Conversely, teaching someone professional, verbal communication skills who has only communicated via text will be challenging. You get the pic. Adjust, and start with empathy.

4. Earn trust first, give direction second. Mom might have been able to get away with “Because I said so.” This isn’t going to work for you. The combination of earning their trust, showing them you care, and being empathetic is what will help you win the day—in the long run.

5. The Socratic method builds ownership. The Socratic method is a dialogue technique to elicit thinking, answers, and ideas through asking questions. It’s wonderful to use and especially helpful if there’s any tension with these individuals. The reason this is so important is because you can focus your questions on outcomes you’d like to attain. When eliciting ideas to achieve outcomes or goals this way, you neutralize any personal feelings because the focus tends to be on the independent goal versus how they feel about you. Putting their ideas into action will also help them feel as contributors or owners

6. Plan—and execute—their development proactively. You can do all the trust building you want, but if you don’t have a plan or they don’t execute it they will not grow. Determine which skills they need to grow, where they are in their stage of development, the desired level of proficiency to reach the next stage, and what it will take to achieve those levels. Anything less than this is a formula for super slow growth or outright stagnation.

7. The pivotal coaching moment. Ideally, you planned their development and are executing it, but along the way they will need help and will ask you questions. Your responses are what will set you apart as a great mentor and coach. Before you react and respond, make sure you are practicing patience, empathy, looking internally (that’s in the mirror!), and realizing there is a new set of circumstances for them.

I hope you enjoy this post! I cover this topic in-depth inside my Leadership Program!


If you like this kind of material and want to grow and develop all the skills required to basically crush your career and life, then why not check out my leadership coaching program?

The short story is I meet monthly with the members to teach my latest strategies, tactics, and tools on building a rewarding career and leading a fulfilled life.

All the sessions are recorded and saved for you in what is now a mega leadership library.

The easiest way for you to see what’s inside the library, learn the methodology I teach, and the topics I’ve already covered is to grab my FREE, valuable skill-building roadmap and leadership assessment. (See pic below.)

Inside this FREE 47-page booklet, there is a ton of value including my-defined leadership tiers, the 46 essential skills to build, how to create your development plan, track your progress, and much more.



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Andrew LaCivita is a world-leading career and leadership coach and award-winning author of Interview Intervention and The Hiring Prophecies. Throughout his career, he has helped 350 companies and over 60,000 individuals across 100 countries realize their potential. He frequently serves as a trusted media resource for outlets such as ABC, Fox Business, and Business Insider. You can join him at the milewalk Academy and catch him weekly for free Live Office Hours on his YouTube Channel.